Without
by estrelita
Summary: Okay, this is a songfic! Really sad, in the beginning. Then it turns around. Really sweet EO love. And If I get good reviews, I'm thinking of a story that will spin off from this.


**Hey everyone! I hope you guys like this. I just got an idea and thought of this. SO this is just a story straight off the top of my head. Please R&R! Please try to be nice!

* * *

**

**Without You**

**Olivia's POV**

The last thing I saw was the rapist pointing the gun towards me. I called out "Police! Drop you weapon!" as I hold mine out and wait for back up. I wasn't scarred. I had been held hostage, I've had guns pointed at me, but I never expected what happened next.

I head Elliot's voice coming up from behind me, "Police! Drop you weapon!" But the perp didn't listen, he was insane. But god did I love to hear Elliot's voice. It was like my security blanket.

I took a few steps closer to the perp, with my gun raised high. "We just want to talk! Please. We don't want to hurt you." I repeated.

"Don't take another step! If you do I'll shoot!" the perp shouted.

I stopped dead in my tracks. But Elliot walked up right beside me. He never let me got through something alone. He was always real protective of me. I guess that a good thing isn't it? A woman always wants to know that she has a strong man to protect her. But not when he's married and has four children at home. But about two years ago they split, and I was free to try and show Elliot how much I truly cared. But I was too late.

Without thinking, I took another step towards the perp, and next thing I hear is a loud gun shot. Elliot screaming, "NO! OLIVIA!" And I fall to the floor. I could feel the pain. The tears swelling. I felt like I was dying. A mist all the commotion I realized I never told Elliot how I felt. And if I did die, everything would go on, just like my love for Elliot, but he would end up never knowing.

_**Without you, the ground thaws, the rain falls, the grass grows.  
Without you, the seeds root, the flowers bloom,  
The children play. The stars gleam, the poets dream, the eagles fly, without you.  
The earth turns, the sun burns, but I die, without you.**_

I felt the cold ground against me. The blood pouring out of my wound. Elliot picked me up into his arms and was saying something, but I couldn't hear anything any more. I was slowly slipping

away from reality. And I knew, without Elliot's love . . . I would die.

-- -- --

**Elliot's POV**

She laid there in my arms, her blood all over me. The perp shot her and took off. But I didn't care, all I cared about was making sure that Olivia stayed alive. I couldn't afford to loose her. She was everything to me. For as long as I could remember, she was the only one I very thought of.

Even when I was married. But that Kathy called it quiets, and I fell madly in love with my Partner, Olivia Benson.

I used my radio to call for back up and an ambulance. They said they were on their way, but ever

second longer they took, was a precious second of life that Olivia was losing.

And I hadn't told her how I felt, because I was afraid she wouldn't feel the same why too. But know as I hold her lifeless body in my arms I wish I could turn back time. I would take the bullet for her. I would tell her how I feel.

My eyes began to swell. I cold feel Liv turning colder and colder ever second. I f she died right know, I would blame myself. I should have protected her. I should have been the one to take that extra step forward, because I know how she is. Anything goes, as long as she gets the perp.

But a part of me would die along with her. Because, besides my children, she's my everything, my all. My soul.

_**Without you, the breeze warms, the girl smiles, the cloud moves.  
Without you, the tides change, the boys run, the oceans crash.  
The crowds roar, the days soar, the babies cry, without you.  
The moon glows, the river flows, but I die, without you.**_

**-- -- -- **

**Olivia's POV**

I was dying. I was cold. I was fading out. Everything was going blue. Elliot's face began to disappear right in front of me.

I only had one wish now, since I was dying. I wished that Elliot would find someone that he could be happy with. Someone that was happy with him and his kids. Because I know that without him,. Life must go on. I didn't want anyone to dwell on my death. If anything I wanted to people to be motivated to go out there and live there life. Because life is a gift worth living.

I want people to hear the sweet sounds of music in their lives when I'm gone. I want people to gaze upon the ones the love.

As my pulse is fading out, someone out there is giving birth to a baby, whose pulse is beating stronger then it ever will.

As my lungs began to stop, that baby is yelling with all it's might as it breaths it's first breath.

As my legs become numb, there's that athlete whose training for that marathon, whose legs are becoming stronger then ever.

_**The world revives,  
Colors renew,  
But I know blue, only blue, lonely blue, within me blue  
Without you. Without you the hand gropes, the ear hears, the pulse beats.**_

**_Without you, the eyes gaze, the legs walks, the lungs breath_**.

**-- -- -- **

**Elliot's POV**

She's slipping away more and more as they load her up on to the ambulance. I climb in.

"I'm not leaving her side." I told the nurse inside.

I'm still holding her icy could hand. I kiss it. I kiss her fore head and whisperer, "I love you Olivia. You have to be strong and pull through this. I don't know what I'll do without."

My mind churns with all the things I never told her. All the things we never did. All the nights we never spent together. All the kisses we never shared.

The only ting I'd be left with is a broken heart as my heart yearns for her love.

They tell me there's nothing I can do to help.

But there is.

I can be by her side, which I am, as they pull her into emergency surgery. I can hope and prey that she'll pull through. That' what I can do.

As he rush past everyone, a few familiar faces stand out.

I see Cragen, Fin, Munch, Casey. Then I see Alex. Alexandria Cabot. Everyone had tear filled years, and I knew they'd be preying for Liv too.

Because we couldn't afford to loose someone like her.

**_The mind churns!_**  
**_The mind churns!  
The heart yearns!  
The heart yearns!_**

**_-- -- -- _**

**Both POV's**

No matter what happens now, I know in my heart that I loved you. We both fought so hard for each other, but hid our feelings.

We should have come straight out. We could have had months, even years, of a relationship.

But our tears will dry. Our lives will move on. I'll think of you always. I will remember you always. I'll wish I was there to kiss you goodnight. To say good morning. To hold you tight. To say 'Merry Christmas'. To cuddle on cold nights.

But if we leave each other now, I'll see you in my dreams. We'll meet together where ever you want. On a beach, in the snow, in out house, or in the rain. I'll see you there.

_**The tears dry, without you.  
Life goes on, but I'm gone.  
'Cause I die, without you.**_

**-- -- -- **

**Olivia's POV**

That's what would happen without. But I am here. And I'm fighting for you. You're my reason to hold on. I my not be fully there. But I feel your hand in mine. I feel you breath. I feel you move. I feel you looking down at me.

So I hold on. I tell the angles that I see, "No. I can not leave. The one I love is still down there. Please if there's a God, which I know there is, you'll give me wings to fly. To fly back into my loves arms. Because I'm willing to fight. I won't give up."

So they smile down at me as they hold my hand, but truly you hold my heart. You know what they say to me?

They look down and smile. Hum a little tune. "Why do you care so much whether you live or die? Eternal happiness awaits you here. Without you life shall go on as it has always done. The rain will fall, hearts will break, babies will cry. Children will play, tears will dry, people will try. Boys will run, the girl will smile, the tides will change. People will hurt, but you can have eternal happiness here."

So I look her ion the eyes, I'm beginning to cry. "I will not be happy here. Th one I long to be with is on Earth. I want to see him laugh. I want to see his kids play. I want to b there to have my tears dried. I want to have a baby, so that I can hear it cry. I want to feel the rain on my face. So please," I begged, "Let me down."

They look at me with pity eyes, then they smile. "It's your will to fight and hold on, that shall bring you back. Just listen for the one you love . . ."

I try. I listen. I began to feel the heat. I hear the mummers of someone around. Is it the one that I do love?

I listen harder, fighting my way through the sounds rushing past.

I hear it. I hear him. I hear Elliot.

"Baby hold on. Hold on for me. Hold on for my kids. We need you here." I hear him whisper. I try to reply.

"I'm here El. I'm here." but the words can't come out.

_**Without you.**_

**_-- -- -- _**

**Elliot's POV**

I can feel her coming back to life. I whisper in her eye, "I can feel you. You're so close. Almost there. Just keep holding on."

Her hand slowly tightens onto mine.

I squeeze her hand.

Her eyes flutter open. She whispers, "I love you El. I love your kids too. And I want to spend the rest of my life with all of you."

My heart's over whelmed with joy. She's back. And I can finally tell her what I've longed to tell

her.

"I love you too Liv. An my kids love you, and I plan to spend every moment of my life with you." I tell her. "But now you need to rest. I love you."

* * *

**So? What did you think? It was my first real songfic that I put my effort into. So I hope you enjoyed! I was thinking of starting a story after this. So If you enjoyed it let me know. The more reviews I get, I'll think of doing a story off it. So if you liked it please let me know! And let your friends know about it if you liked it! Remember, the more reviews, the more likely I do a story off it if you guys like it!** **LOL**

**much Luv,**

**Cilla **


End file.
